Now you can have an instant Fireplace that lasts forever and a goldfish that never stops swimming. Fun View TV is a collection of themed video scenes for your television. Just insert the Fun View TV DVD into a DVD player, and you're ready to go. There are 20 fun scenes, each with their own soundtrack. All of the scenes are divided into three categories; Seasonal, Novelty and Party. The Novelty Views are real never-ending scenes; a roaring fireplace, a fish that never stops swimming around, a groovy 70s lava lamp, a laundry dryer that continuously tumbles clothes, and a pizza revolving in a microwave oven. The Seasonal views are intended to create a seasonal mood; beach scene, winter snow view, scary Halloween pumpkin, Valentine hearts, 4th of July Fireworks, Spring field, and autumn leaves. The Party View category is filled with exciting party lights especially designed for parties. There is even a New Year's Eve Countdown for your own New Year's Party. Special Features: Fun View TV scenes are designed to loop forever. So when you choose a particular scene, it will play as long as you like. When you want to exit a scene, just press the menu button and you can choose something else. Appropriate for all ages. Fun View TV has appeared on The Ellen Show with Ellen Degeneres and HBO’s Inside the NFL with Dan Marino.

The rest of the world will feel like it clears up. And now you can concentrate your intellectual energy on using coping skills to deal with your father's death.

It always amazes me how much better I feel when I pinpoint why I feel so bad. I haven't even done anything about it yet . . . except I named the source of the pain. There is something very empowering in that. It reminds me of the medical world, where naming a disease is a very important first step, because now people can start working on it, researching it, and coordinating efforts to find a cure.

Remind yourself, several times a day, if necessary, that the smells of the holidays -- evergreens, cookies, egg nog, baked ham, anything -- can be a powerful trigger of memories. Sounds will also be powerful -- Christmas carols, Muzak in the stores, the sound of tires in the snow, the sound of a snow blower or shovel against the driveway -- all of these and more. And don't forget the sights! Christmas decorations, Christmas lights, even how the world seems lit as the Sun appears lower in the sky than at any other time of year. Be ready for these cues. If you're prepared, then you will be more ready to deal with them when they come.

Enduring the "Get-togethers"

Christmastime is often the only time of year that you are unable to wiggle out of a painful social obligation. That means you are forced to spend Christmas Eve with the uncle who abused you, for example, or with a verbally abusive parent, or something similar. I wrote an article about Emotional Detatchment that has many practical tips. Here are some more.

• Keeping the peace. Often, you are in a position where you feel it is your responsibility to keep the peace. When you are verbally attacked, you are criticized for defending yourself. So reverse the roles this year. Before the event, write down some of the criticisms you receive when you defend yourself. Practice them. Then use them on your attacker. Because these are familiar family rules, they may have a powerful effect, and they will place the responsibility for peace on your attacker, not on you.
• Remove yourself.Gatherings of family can be large affairs. Remind yourself of your freedom to associate with anyone you want. When your great-grandfather starts on his favorite rant on an issue that really offends you, get up and go to the bathroom. When you're done there, go join the kids in the other room and have fun for a change.
• Really remove yourself. Formulate an attitude that says, 'This is their event, not mine. They have to convince me to stay here.' You can leave without a word. You can leave with thundering denunciations. You can leave by calmly saying, 'Since you can't be civil, I'm going home.' If you carry this attitude inside, others will be able to sense it on some level, and will probably not be as daring as in the past.
• Verbal judo. I recommend a book entitled, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin. It teaches about body language, tone of voice, and alternative scripts -- better approaches to common confrontation. If you find yourself falling into the same old pattern as in previous years, you know where the pattern is headed. Take more control of the situation, and do something, or say something, to derail that train.
• Counter-attack -- but sneakily. Don't fall into old name-calling or pleading or defensive roles. Counter-attack by doing something else. Plan this ahead of time. There are bound to be subjects that your abuser finds distasteful or unpleasant or scary. Think about them. Come up with conversational openings about them. Plan how you will proceed, and show up prepared. Your abuser counts on surprise and unpreparedness to win.